All aboard!

Although what to call it on an airplane… anyway, here I am, and feeling fairly well rested, thanks to Air France Business Lounge. I sprang for it, at 45 Euros, which is more worth it if you have a longer layover/WAIT. Or if you have a great thirst for GOOD BOOZE, which they have in store. After two weeks in Belle France, drinking the most delightful wines, it was nice to be able to enjoy some VODKA and brandies, also some good wines.

Apparently  this flight is mostly empty. How odd. Well, here I am, all alone in my little window seat. With a few beers and waters to go from the B-salon. Water, especially. You need that on these flights.

My trip to Paris… well, it was a relief to arrive at CDG, but then I had to navigate the checkin process. Silly me, trying to use the automated kiosks. PITA. Anyway, I did manage to print my luggage tags, and I had already put my boarding pass on my Android. BTW, thank GOD for the little cans of Perrier from the Business lounge, because it’s hot as  FUCK here on this plane and I need to hydrate after pounding that vodka, wine, and brandy. True, just a wee nip of each, but still.

So glad I did manage to nab the seat in first class. Jesus, second was disgusting, and not just from my neighbor (who seriously needed a fucking spanking on his hygiene, the pig). No, the entire car was gross, which was probably why the conductor was so amenable. There I was, obviously hiding from the stench in the cafe car, seeking refuge. People say the French stink, but did they check the passports? Because I spent a week with French horse people and NEVER notice a stink, not even from the animals.

I was quite pleased to have French people respond to me mostly in French, EVEN AT THE AIRPORT, until I felt over my head and had to say
“je ne comprends pas” with a 😦 in my voice and expression. But I tried, and even if we spoke a bit of English, I would always toss in a bit of French for good measure.

Gott in Himmel. This flight was delayed due to some connecting issue. WHATEVER, but I left my boozy comfort for THIS??? Anyway, get these peasants on board so I can get home.

It was awfully nice to have one of the AF people at the gate send his regards to Boston after I said to him (and all of France) “AU REVOIR A FRANCE.” I don’t tone it down, ever, and why should I.

Okay, they just brought some Evian water, which is a nice touch, but WHERE IS MY FUCKING CHAMPAGNE???

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